


Dangles and Chrangles

by somethingsintheair



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Dungeons and Dragons, Gen, ladyquest zine, rated for swearing and like one vague nsfw implication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 07:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13608630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingsintheair/pseuds/somethingsintheair
Summary: The boys play DnD. Or, at least, they try to.Written for the Ladyquest TWRP zine!





	Dangles and Chrangles

**Author's Note:**

> Some sweet art that was made to accompany this fic can be found [here!](https://havvehoagie.tumblr.com/post/170632756464/heres-my-piece-that-i-did-for-ladyquestzine-it)

It was all Sung’s idea. He’d suggested the game, he’d set everything up, he’d even made them costumes. They were shitty costumes, sure, but he’d put a lot of love into them. So far, they’d had one (very brief) character creation session that had quickly ended in Havve flipping the table over. But after some cleanup (see: nailing the table to the floor) and a couple days of recovery, Sung was ready to jump back in.

“Okay, let’s review real quick,“ Sung said, holding a clipboard up behind the little partition screen he’d crafted out of some folders. “We have a… Juniper Reid.” He pointed across the table at Phobos, who had a pair of poorly-crafted elf ears taped to his helmet. “You’re a Bard, yes?”

Phobos nodded. Out of the three players, he seemed to be the least upset about the situation. Admittedly, he was a little excited.

“Nice.” Sung looked down at his clipboard again. “And… Meouch. What did you have there?”

Meouch, who was sitting beside Phobos and wearing a pair of devil horns, looked down at the paper in front of him and let out a sigh. “Uh... Tiefling, Rogue.”

Sung nodded and wrote it down. “Name?”

“...Meouch?”

Sung rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on.”

“Fine, fine.” Meouch waved a hand, staring down at his character sheet. “Uh… Meech. Commodore Meech.”

Sung shrugged before he jotted that down. “I’ll take it. And… Havve, what was your--”

“BRICKFUCK.”

Sung jumped a little at the abrupt response, but wrote it down nonetheless. “Right.”

Once they got into the game, things were going pretty smoothly. Meouch hadn’t run off to sleep with any NPCs, Havve hadn’t murdered any integral characters, and Phobos was doing surprisingly well talking his way through tough situations.

It was only when their first combat encounter began that things started to go downhill.

“As you enter the cave, the first thing you see is a very angry blue goblin,” Sung said, “Without a word, he jumps at you. Roll for initiative.”

With some grumbling and a few rolls, it was decided that Meouch would go first. He spent a few long moments staring down at his character sheet before he looked up at Sung again. “Can I… can I charm my way outta this?” he asked. “Like… seduce it?”

Sung was quiet for a moment, tilting his head to the side. “Are you trying to fuck a goblin, Commander?”

“Wh-- no!” Meouch said, his arms crossed in defense. “Just ‘cause I’m trying to seduce it doesn’t mean I gotta follow through. Can I roll for it or not?”

“I… suppose,” Sung said with a sigh. “Go ahead.”

“Nice.” Meouch grabbed a d20 and tossed it across the table. It landed in front of Havve, who looked down and read what he saw.

“ONE.”

“Ah, fuck.”

While Meouch was reasonably irritated, Sung seemed almost relieved. “Uh, in your attempts to… seduce this goblin, you slip in a nearby puddle and faceplant on a rock. Take five embarrassment points.”

“Embarrassment... points?” Meouch frowned. “That’s not a thing.”

“It is now.” Sung made a note on his clipboard. “Phobos, you’re next.”

_I’d like to try to talk to him,_ Phobos’s voice echoed in their minds. _Maybe we can put our differences aside and become friends._

“Well… alright,” Sung said with a shrug. “What do you say?”

_‘Excuse me, sir, but I think there’s been a misunderstanding. We mean no harm. Perhaps we can talk things out.‘_

Sung nodded. “Roll for… uh, persuasion.”

Phobos did just that, carefully dropping the die in front of him. He didn’t say anything as he stared down at it, so Meouch leaned over to read the number out for him.

“One.”

Sung sighed. “Oh, boy,” he said. “Okay. Well... without realizing it, you’ve said something terribly offensive in Goblin. He looks disgusted, and only gets more angry at you. His... next attack will be fueled by rage, and inflict double damage.”

“Oh, great,” Meouch said with a roll of his eyes. “Fuckin’ thanks, Juniper.”

Phobos lowered his head in shame. Sorry.

Sung just shook his head. “Alright, Havve, let’s--”

“BRICKFUCK,” Havve interjected.

“Right… _Brickfuck,”_ Sung repeated. “Let’s see if you can bring this back. What will you do?”

“I WANT TO BASH HIS BRAINS IN.”

“Uh...” Sung paused and glanced down at his clipboard. “Well, okay. Strength check?”

Havve tossed a d20 in the air, caught it in his hand, and slammed it down on the table. “TWENTY,” he read. “SUCK ON THAT, LOSERS.”

Sung was quiet at first, and hesitantly leaned over to look at the die and confirm. It was, indeed, a natural 20-- not even counting Havve’s ridiculous strength modifier. “Well… alright,” Sung said. “You do that. You bash his brains in, and he’s… well, he’s dead. You did it.” He made another note before he looked back up at the group. “Congratulations?”

Havve crossed his arms as he looked at the other two players. “THANKS FOR NOTHING, NERDS.”


End file.
